Friends
Is it important to have friends? Awhile ago, I wrote about how I talk to myself whilst walking my dog. Now, I suddenly find I have friends! Three ladies from my neighbourhood, parents from Jill's school, friends that have become great friends, virtual friends I hope to meet someday who have similar interests as me, the man on the bus. I really like all these people. I don't know if they like me though. I think time will tell. I am not a very likeable person! I hope, I make one good friend. It's so important to have one good friend. I know, if I went back to Singapore to live, I'd have at least five good friends, but because I have to live here, one will be fine! :P
Dear Kiran, what a thoughtful piece. This resonated with me because as a transplant myself, I feel the same. My lifelong friends, besties, live in Singapore. I have two kindred spirits that I can't imagine my life without, our friendships stretching back more than two decades. Here, I have found it difficult to cultivate 'real' friendships, people I can really connect to and form life-long bonds. I think my nature - which is the kind that treasures my own company the most, and takes forever to warm up to relative strangers, has made me overcautious. I have friends, just not the kind I see myself sitting on a rocking chair, reminiscing with in my old age;) Like you though, I agree with the having at least one good friend locally. I think I've found one, and wish you the best of luck in finding yours:) z
ReplyDeleteZ, I guess you really need to have some history to become great friends. It's quite hard as adults to make new friends, especially for us transplants like you said. I used to be terribly shy and very very reluctant to make friends but I have definitely opened up now. However, I also feel very self concious. After meeting people, I *worry* that I might have said something wrong, acted in way that put people off etc etc. I guess it's got to do with confidence too. Tricky. Really tough being a transplant sometimes!
ReplyDeleteHi Kiran, I love your blog and your honest posts, I know how you feel when you say you worry about saying something wrong and acting in a way that puts people off, I feel just the same, I thought I'd have grown out of it by now! If it's any help I personally think that a little shyness is a very endearing quality in a person, and much preferable to being over confident. By the way, I don't agree with one part of your post, I think you're a very likeable person!
ReplyDeleteHey Alex!! Aww, thanks! I try to be as honest as I can. Sometimes though, some things just can't be said! (like wanting to rant about buyers! :P). You know, I was thinking the same thing, I thought I would have grown out of those feelings by now, but obviously not! I think you're a lovely person by the way! :))
ReplyDeleteThanks Kiran, keep up the good work! x
ReplyDeleteI read your posting and I can very well relate 2 u. I'm unsure of what to expect from people. making 'friends' looks like a tedious process to me and just don't wana get hurt during the process. pros and cons, risks involved, vulerability. so many things.. many permutations and combinations of feelings and emotions. one has to raise above all those (i know)..i keep trying.. what else I can do? I need friends who are hard to find these days as adults. !!
ReplyDeleteHmm... who are you? It's very strange that when I click on your 'name' it goes to MY personal Facebook account.
ReplyDeletehello, Kiran! i do hope you find your one good friend or maybe more. from what you write in your blog, i think you are a likeable person and i have no idea why you would think otherwise. perhaps your idea of likeable is more of the outgoing type but i think that's not necessary. i think being interested in someone,sharing some things in common (like both being moms)and spending time together is a good start to a friendship.
ReplyDeletehi Peggy! thank you so much for your lovely comment! I think I've just been put down by certain people so much that I find it hard to believe that anyone can like me! But I have found a couple of good friends now and that had made me really happy! :)
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